The Mill is not a happy Mill this fine Tuesday. The Mill has been a Victim of Crime. Theft, to be exact – to whit, one bicycle wheel, pilfered by persons unknown and forcing the Mill to get the bus to Guardian Towers rather than enjoy the usual thrill of the pedalled commute. It’s an inconvenience, an annoyance. But the Mill says this to the thief: listen, and understand. The Rumour Mill is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD.
Well, that escalated quickly. But then these things often do. Take Manchester United’s pursuit of jinking Brazilian hair model Neymar. Just when you think that a £140m bid is enough to trigger the Barcelona man’s buyout, it turns out that the whole thing is going to cost you £240m! Today’s tabloid tittle-tattle puts the total price for the 23-year-old at a staggering £240m … and United are apparently willing to pay it.
Brazil’s GloboEsporte reckons United have already offered the £140m required to spring Neymar from the Camp Nou and you can stick another £100m on that in tax, wages and add-ons.
The Mirror report that Arsène Wenger is on “red alert” – which, as we all know, comes right after blue alert although it does mean changing the bulb – over a move for Edinson Cavani. Karim Benzema has said “Merci mais non merci” to the prospect of a move to north London so Arsenal have turned to the Uruguayan currently meh-ing his way through a spell at Paris Saint-Germain.
Chelsea are to push ahead with a £70m offer for midfield destroyer/creator Paul Pogba despite Juventus being about as keen to part with their prize asset as a wolfhound who has found a particularly pungent bone. To make themselves feel better, Chelsea will head to Croatia for some retail therapy and sign the Hajduk Split goalkeeper Lovre Kalinic instead.
West Ham’s attacking ranks currently in the same sort of state as Murphy after the opening scene of Robocop. Slaven Bilic wants a striker and that pressing need means they win today’s Team Linked With The Most Players At Once Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. Firstly, a loan deal for Tottenham’s Emmanuel Adebayor could be back on, as long as Spurs cough up for a portion of his wages.
But the Hammers are also keen on Toulouse’s Wissam Ben Yedder, Galatasaray’s Buruk Yilmaz and Juventus’s Simone Zara. And that’s not all – Bilic is also kicking the tyres of Chelsea’s Victor Moses, Tottenham’s Aaron Lennon and Manchester United’s Janet Jazz Jazz Jam. Just for good measure, they’re also lining up a return for the Queens Park Rangers goalkeeper Robert Green.
Galatasaray have all but sealed a deal for the Manchester City defender Jason Denayer [No they haven’t – Homonym Ed], while Napoli’s Jonathan de Guzmán has turned down a move to Sunderland.
Norwich City’s search for a striker has led them all the way to Crystal Palace’s Glenn Murray. They’ll offer £5m for the 31-year-old. And if that doesn’t work, well then they’ll turn their attentions to Wolves and the England Under-21 frontman Benik Afobe.
Champions League-chasing Leicester City are back in for the Birmingham tyro Demarai Gray and they’ll make another move to sign Copenhagen’s Daniel Amartey before deadline day.
And finally the Mill just googled “repair leaky hull” in an attempt to shoehorn a needless nautical metaphor into the story of West Brom’s interest in Jonny Evans and discovered that “the grandaddy of all leaks is the leaky hull-to-deck join”, a fact comfortably more interesting than Albion’s attempts to sign the Manchester United defender and therefore a fine place to end.
Source : The Guardian
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